are you there, margaret? it's me, god. yeah. um. could you keep it down, please?
a little peace and quiet, for a change? hey. let's give it a test drive, see if it works for us or not.
what? yes, that was a car salesman kind of metaphor. I thought I'd better dumb it down for you.
Really? All those nights, you never expected me to talk back? Aww. Haha. Come on, I'm freakin God! To quote that rapper Scarface, I "make the impossible look easy."
Hey, calm down, short pants. It's not like you're someone special to me. I talk to lots of people, I give out advice almost every day. Yeah, in this voice. The telemundo announcer voice. Loud and clear, like a hidden speaker system.
Not trying to brag, now, but my advice is freakin' awesome. It's infallible! I'm the Creator, right? I know my stuff. But no one EVER takes me seriously. People seem to be getting dumber every year, I swear.
People need a confidence boost when they shout in my direction; like you, Meg, they're full to the brim with small-change fears and pathetic little dreams. But I try to ignore all that whiny crap. Most of the advice I dispense in my telemundo voice is simple common sense. "Try an anti-dandruff shampoo!" is probably my favorite.
I really hoped you could figure this out for yourself. Every night, your monologue of petty drama pours forth, and every night so far, i gave no rebuttal.
But Margaret, I'm getting bored, so let's skip to the moral of the story, mmkay? Humans are cold, cruel people; self-interest runs the world. You'll get used to it. Teens become adults, middle age makes them ugly and fat, and all those insecurities and bad vibes are drowned in alcohol, family values and the sweet sweet release of the grave. so lighten up! try using some of that zit cream they advertise on the teevee. You'd feel prettier. And yes, Margaret, that is the secret of human happiness- feeling pretty.
Take it from the guy in the sky. or don't. but please stop calling me.
a little peace and quiet, for a change? hey. let's give it a test drive, see if it works for us or not.
what? yes, that was a car salesman kind of metaphor. I thought I'd better dumb it down for you.
Really? All those nights, you never expected me to talk back? Aww. Haha. Come on, I'm freakin God! To quote that rapper Scarface, I "make the impossible look easy."
Hey, calm down, short pants. It's not like you're someone special to me. I talk to lots of people, I give out advice almost every day. Yeah, in this voice. The telemundo announcer voice. Loud and clear, like a hidden speaker system.
Not trying to brag, now, but my advice is freakin' awesome. It's infallible! I'm the Creator, right? I know my stuff. But no one EVER takes me seriously. People seem to be getting dumber every year, I swear.
People need a confidence boost when they shout in my direction; like you, Meg, they're full to the brim with small-change fears and pathetic little dreams. But I try to ignore all that whiny crap. Most of the advice I dispense in my telemundo voice is simple common sense. "Try an anti-dandruff shampoo!" is probably my favorite.
I really hoped you could figure this out for yourself. Every night, your monologue of petty drama pours forth, and every night so far, i gave no rebuttal.
But Margaret, I'm getting bored, so let's skip to the moral of the story, mmkay? Humans are cold, cruel people; self-interest runs the world. You'll get used to it. Teens become adults, middle age makes them ugly and fat, and all those insecurities and bad vibes are drowned in alcohol, family values and the sweet sweet release of the grave. so lighten up! try using some of that zit cream they advertise on the teevee. You'd feel prettier. And yes, Margaret, that is the secret of human happiness- feeling pretty.
Take it from the guy in the sky. or don't. but please stop calling me.
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