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bored! in that flat city of wind... CHICAGO!

Tales of the night, hilarious retellings, short absurdist fiction bits in the style of McSweeneys.net, city street dialogue retold a la OverHeardInNewYork, no celebrity gossip or political rants...just stories 'n' satire!
 

homeless scientists smoke cigarettes

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

sweatshirt twentysomething. justifying her splurge...
"he lost his cellphone over a week ago. well, he didn't lose it exactly..."
the memory soured her a moment.
"unfortunate toilet mishap?" I offered.
"no...well.....no. the friendly neighborhood homeless man kind of stole it, actually."
"doesn't sound very friendly to me."
"no, i guess not." sighing..."he used to be. asking for change, making conversation...he was always on Damen by the park, probably slept there nights....we all adored him."
"Uh, really."
i pause and put a neighborhood to her address.
"that's right by the brown line stop, right...got that Canton hole-in-the-wall next door? take out only. a solitary card table for seating."
"yeah! canton...something." she brightened at a landmark.
i tried to remember why i'd ever spent time there.
"back in the day...i used to hang with the manager of that Christian Science Reading Room past Winnemac."
she shook her head. "fun place to hang out?"
"I never went in. used to bum smokes from the manager while she stood outside, glaring at the world."
I had a little crush that summer.
"No one ever came by to read, which was just as well. She wasn't even a Christian, much less a scientist."
"I think that place closed down."
I tried to remember.
"I dunno. They fired my friend. She was pregnant, and they got mad."
"Pregnant and she SMOKED?"
"Well...I think she was trying to kill her baby. Either that, or toughen him up."
 
   





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